{"meta":{"total":7,"limit":20,"offset":0,"feed":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/feed.xml","site":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com"},"stories":[{"id":"cat-emotional-unavailable","slug":"cat-emotional-unavailable","category":"Animals","headline":"Local Cat Declares Itself 'Emotionally Unavailable' After Owner Bought a Houseplant","teaser":"In a stunning development that experts are calling 'completely predictable,' Mr. Whiskers has reportedly been sitting with his back to the family since Tuesday.","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-07T00:00:00Z","tags":["Cats","Houseplants","Emotional Unavailability","Animals"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/cat-emotional-unavailable"},{"id":"mondays-worst","slug":"mondays-worst","category":"Science","headline":"Scientists Confirm That Mondays Are, In Fact, The Worst","teaser":"A 12-year longitudinal study has finally put numbers to what humanity has long suspected.","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-06T00:00:00Z","tags":["Science","Mondays","Research"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/mondays-worst"},{"id":"traffic-light-mayor","slug":"traffic-light-mayor","category":"People","headline":"Town's Only Traffic Light Voted 'Most Reliable Resident' for 12th Year Running","teaser":"The light, which has never called in sick, accepted the award by turning green.","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-05T00:00:00Z","tags":["People","Community","Infrastructure"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/traffic-light-mayor"},{"id":"sourdough-starter-pet","slug":"sourdough-starter-pet","category":"Food","headline":"Man Insists His Sourdough Starter Is 'Basically a Pet' and Deserves a Name","teaser":"Gerald, as he is now known, is reportedly 'thriving' and 'very bubbly.'","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-04T00:00:00Z","tags":["Food","Sourdough","Pets"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/sourdough-starter-pet"},{"id":"decision-rating-app","slug":"decision-rating-app","category":"Weird Tech","headline":"New App Lets You Rate Your Own Decisions From 1 to 'What Were You Thinking'","teaser":"Early reviews suggest most users are hovering around a solid 'yikes.'","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-03T00:00:00Z","tags":["Tech","Apps","Decisions"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/decision-rating-app"},{"id":"dog-mayor","slug":"dog-mayor","category":"Animals","headline":"Dog Elected Honorary Mayor of Small Town for Third Consecutive Year","teaser":"His platform: more parks, fewer vacuums, unlimited treats.","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-02T00:00:00Z","tags":["Animals","Dogs","Politics"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/dog-mayor"},{"id":"cat-misunderstood","slug":"cat-misunderstood","category":"People","headline":"Local Man Insists His Cat Is 'Just Misunderstood' After Third Furniture Incident","teaser":"The couch, reached for comment, declined to respond.","author":"Staff Correspondent","publishedAt":"2026-08-01T00:00:00Z","tags":["People","Cats","Furniture"],"url":"https://www.goodweirdnews.com/story/cat-misunderstood"}]}